don't should on your friends

My life seems full of shoulds...I should do this, I should do that. I shouldn't have done this. Guilt, regret.
And sometimes it's learning to let those things go.
So I feed the little boy a Popsicle for breakfast.
I should write more. Take more pictures. Laugh more often. Lighten up. Be in the moment. Enjoy.
It's a hard thing to do when I'm beating myself up for what I should have done.

And so it goes.
The days are getting shorter. And the shadows longer. The air crisp like a clean sheet of paper.
Waiting for what I should do.
And in the mean time, I'm just trying to lighten up.
Or decide if I shouldn't just learn to appreciate myself the way I am.
It's a little upside down and inside out.
Crazy.

today

I'm obviously catching up on my posting...I'm sure I was going through withdraws. I thought you'd enjoy this. Today we made rock shoe soup with a large side of golden lab. What a perfect way to end summer.

be fri and st ends

I wrote this post Thursday, last week - but alas we've been without internet forever ... okay only for about a week. So this post hasn't been able to make its way out into the Universe until now..

we sit for hours under the stars, chatting. sharing those parts of ourselves too tender or ridiculous to share elsewhere. she hears those parts of me that have been aching for company in a new lonesome town. she listens with compassion as I mark off the lists of reasons why I'm sure I'm an unfit mother. we talk about our relationships with our husbands and our mothers. when I'm unsure or off center, she feeds me kind words and understanding. it seems as we stare into the sky and share our dreams of who we will become, that she believes in me more than I believe in myself at times. her belief gives me courage. she shares her amazement at my little life here in the country and I'm reminded of all I have to be grateful for. albeit, she's miles away from me now. when she pulls out of our drive after four blissful days of sisterhood, I gulp back tears and then sob. I had overlooked my love for her when she was just a block away. I'd not noticed the depth of my caring for her. I underestimated the comfort I received. she's my be fri and I'm her st ends. .
Unafraid to be girly girls together - truly best friends.

welcome to mama's sacred studio space

A place where nothing is thrown or broken by anyone but mama.
A place mama comes to rest her tired soul when she's worn thin and ragged and rumpled.
A place where she's just enough - as is.
And the only demands here are the ones she puts on herself.
It's a place where she finds herself again and again, as long and as many times as she needs to.
A place away from any unwanted distractions.
A place of quiet, peace and joy.
Fill up child, you are nurtured here. You are deeply cared for.
There is nothing here that has to be done - or undone.
Just you and this quiet perfect moment.

I wrote this one evening a few weeks ago. In need of quiet and escape. This isn't always true of this space (as you can see by the scattered pencils and rolling pin on the floor, both done by little hands). But the moment I wrote this, when I needed it to be, it was true. My sacred escape from the demands of the day and household. I used to curl up in an empty bathtub behind a closed door when I needed an escape(and I look forward to returning to the habit as soon as we have a bathtub). There is something so absurd and comforting about climbing in an empty tub and laying down with all of your clothes on. I highly recommend it. It's like a quickie retreat for my soul and I always end up chuckling at myself. But now, I have this huge, promising space - just waiting for me!

I wished and wished for so many years to have my very own studio! And now, I do! Dreams do come true! I'm so happy to share them with you. Wishing you a bright, quiet moment that is all your own today!

Love,
Jo

dog daze

Because I feel I need to write something...

The last few days of summer...

my best friend leaving.

a broken modem...so now I type in a Starbucks...

feeling better but sluggish in the heat.

been spending time sculpting.

Found a fantastic new yoga studio.

The little boy is becoming very adept at throwing tantrums....

and hitting

and biting again. (I used to be one of those people who believed children only did what was modeled for them by others...ha ha ha. Now I'm a parent and I know better!)

Practicing lots of breathing.

Reminding myself to enjoy the moments.

I Promise more lengthy and detailed posts once our Internet is up and running. This Thursday.

right now

I've been hiding out as of late. I'm sick with a little bug right now. The boy is on the mend from said illness. Being sick with a kiddo is the pits! So I've been playing it low and listening to myself. Also, prior to this little physical downer, I've been feeling a little blue. I've been itching for a sense of community that I just haven't found yet. Moving is tough! On an up note, my little brother is coming out to visit me tomorrow before he takes off for grad school. Then next week one of my very bestest friends in the whole universe is coming with her two precious daughters. I'm looking forward to a little love balm for my soul.

words from the universe

Searching for some inspiration this morning, I picked out a book and randomly flipped to a page. I thought some Shel Silverstein was bound to be uplifting. Here's what came up:

Helping

Agatha Fry, she made a pie,

And Christopher John helped bake it.

Christopher John, he mowed the lawn,

And Agatha Fry helped rake it.

Zachary Zugg took out the rug,

And Jennifer Joy helped shake it.

And Jennifer Joy, she made a toy,

And Zachary Zugg helped break it.

And some kind of help

Is the kind of help

That helping's all about.

And some kind of help

Is the kind of help

We all can do without.

Me, myself, I'm not sure which is which at the moment. I'm still looking for a little clarity.