honesty

Here's me just being honest: I'm afraid to really put myself out there. And I guess with good reason - out there can't be taken back. Out there may last forever. Or until I erase what I've shared. Out there is scary and might illicit the criticism of others. I'd love to share but I also want to make everyone happy. See my predicament? You can't make everyone happy. Really all I control is my own happiness.

Here is what I like: people who move with authority, people who aren't afraid to look like they know where they are going (like my son, he's only two and is a natural at this. In fact he is a master! He is 100% where ever he is - when he's thinking, he's thinking, when he's playing, he's playing. He doesn't do anything half way. He isn't busy in his little brain trying to conjure up a healthy dinner for tonight while trying to wriggle the pillow out of its case. He is there 100% smashing and throwing that pillow with all of his mental and physical might, shaking it loose.

I am afraid the plight out of childhood may be lessons of learning where we are not safe in this world. And my work as an adult is learning to re-create safety in my world for myself and those I love.