rose hips

Have I written yet about our fabulous new (to us) old house? Have I said here, that I'm sure the universe was listening to me and hubby's bedtime conversations as we dreamed about what our next house would be? The universe even gave me well established gardens(and badly in need of tending).

Here we are 5 months now in a new town. Settling in. And I have inherited from our new home the most fabulous of roses, everywhere. Roses as big as grapefruits in the Summer. Roses that are so red they glow. And roses that bloom right up to the first snow. And...they are still alive - 5 months in to my being their new caretaker. So, I've been collecting rose hips. And I've made some sort of rose hip concoction. I basically boiled the hips until they were soft and saved the liquid. Now what? I'll let you know how the experimenting goes.

troubles in potty training

More struggles in toddler world. Potty training. Uhg! He was doing so well! That is, until the concept of pooping in the potty was introduced. Here's what has happened since then and how we have digressed:

8AM
Little Boy running around with no diaper on.
Mom trying to encourage, coax and bribe little boy on to potty. He clearly has to go. And little boy, going on the potty is so much fun!
Little boy refuses to go into bathroom.

8:05
Mom against her better judgment grabs potty from bathroom and brings into kitchen where little boy is.
Little Boy still running around with no diaper looking somewhat interested but still refusing to sit on potty. Still clearly has to go.

8:07
Little boy: clearly pushing
Mom: giving up on the potty tries with all of her might to encourage little boy off of carpeted area and onto linoleum.
Little boy poops on carpet.
Mom picks up poop with wipes, goes to bathroom flushes said mess, moves potty back into bathroom where it belongs.
Little boy continues running around with no diaper.

8:09
Little boy excited: pee pee on potty!
Mom excited: let's go pee pee on the potty!
Little Boy: No, floor. Pointing to where the potty just was in the kitchen.
Mom tries to explain the potty belongs in the bathroom while trying to convince little boy into bathroom.
Little Boy begins whining. Quickly turns to screaming. Screaming becomes full fledged tantrum.
Mom carries little boy into bathroom to show him where the potty went.
Little boy is still very upset. Will not sit on potty. Any attempts to push this by Mom are met with more enraged screaming.
Mom decides it is time for a diaper. This is met with more upset from Little Boy. Mom diapers little boy anyway.

8:15
Little boy is diapered playing with blocks, content.

I wish I could say that this was the first occurrence of this in our household. The truth is I have cleaned poop off my floor the last 4 days in a row. That doesn't bother me so much as the tantrums. And worse, I'm not sure what to do. I think the Little Boy is just more comfortable pooping while standing. What's a mom to do?

I can say however, I have learned some things. He responds better when I don't change things (moving the potty is a BIG mistake). And he also seems to calm more quickly when I make command parent decisions and quickly. Ex. Despite his upset diapering him.

Sigh. This too shall pass...

an ode to lists

I love lists. I literally have lists of lists. They can hold random things and still seem organized. They signify a process. They say "Yes, I have it together. I know what I'm doing. Look I have a list." You can't doubt someone with a list.

So when trying to compensate for my feelings of doubt, uncertainty, and general insecurity I create a list. Needless to say, I have hundreds of lists. I even have a book of lists. My favorite kind of list is "the dream list". It's kind of a Mondo Beyondo. A list in which I write all and any dreams, fantasies and fabulous (even and especially outrageous) things I'd like to do. I have two kinds of dream lists; I like to do one at the beginning of every year, I also like to keep one for my entire life.

Dream lists are fun and magical. They encourage me to dream BIG. They also provide a record. In looking back, I can see tangibly the dreams that I have accomplished.

who knew? maybe I really do know what I'm doing!
and
holy cow! the universe really is a magical place that is conspiring on my behalf!

Looking back on my dream lists also allows me to see what I have accomplished and how I have grown and changed. Accomplishing one goal, that I initially might have thought of as a BIG dream (getting a Master's degree) naturally creates momentum for my further adventures (think PhD). I can also see how I outgrow some items. Ex. be part of a Criss Angel trick (I haven't crossed that one off yet but at some point I might)

So in ode to lists here is one of mine!
list taken from above photo

1. establish a wonderful and beautiful garden
2. garden sculptures
3. go on a retreat - something creative and spiritually inclined
4. take a writing class
5. paint a silk scarf
6. mail super wonderful packages and letters to friends - just for the fun of it!
7. have dedicated time for creative endeavors; art and writing
8. create garden and lawn sculptures
9. find and participate in a group or organization that is specifically to foster spirit
10. be able to do a headstand without assistance of a wall
11. get published
12. make money with my writing
13. make money with my art work


What are some items on your list of things to do while you're here?

slaying dragons

Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are but princesses that are waiting to see us act just once with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything terrible is in its deepest essence, something helpless that needs our love.
- Rainer Maria Rilke

...tending to my dragons and being generous with love.

at it again

most recent work entitled, Affirmation

Hello all! Well yes, I am at it again. And with a vengeance now. Thank heavens!
You may be asking yourself She's at what, exactly? Well, life I suppose would be the answer. But to be more specific...I'm feeling more like I've found the path again. My path.

Sometimes, it is nice to wander without direction but other times, the wandering feels tedious and taunting. The world seems to be mocking me and my misdirection. I struggle to honor my own struggle. And as of late, well since we've moved really, I've felt all turned around. And unsure of every step. At times I felt there were no options or directions. Then other times I felt like every direction was available (which was equally overwhelming).

As I think back on old posts, this does not seem to be a new topic for me...and maybe I've written a hundred times that I'm starting to feel settled. Maybe it's been my mantra and something I've longed to feel.

Nonetheless I am starting to settle - and get reacquainted and more comfortable with those parts that will always flux. Home is starting to feel like home. I've gotten back to taking more courageous leaps - introducing myself to new people, admitting to strangers that I am an artist, making new friends, creating more work, day dreaming about the future and using those dreams to set goals (like creating enough work to fill a kiln by December). Here's a sneak peak at what I've been up to in my new studio space...

laying under a rock

She was overwhelmed by indecision. And so she decided to make no decisions at all. As it were, she sat down. . . then lay down. Right there on the very ground where she walked. She placed a very large weighty rock on the center of her belly - to keep her from blowing away. She lay there until she could find her center again, until her sustenance returned, until she could find her self and with it her courage and voice. Her cool ability to boldly state her intentions, her desires and decisions.

because you are beautiful !