the last seven days, a list

- a day spent at the office, I went in early even to catch up on the never ending paperwork
- searching for the perfect birthday present for mom in-law. found it!
- taking the pooch to the vet with the boy (this was a test in patients and physical strength)
- more time spent doing work I love with people I enjoy (I am so very blessed)
- a late birthday party! for me and my mom in-law
- opening presents
- mojitos
- bar-b-que!
- good friends
- a night around our new little outdoor fireplace with s'mores and conversation
- a day to rest, catch up and prepare for the coming week (read as laundry, grocery store, bills)
- visiting old friends and catching up
- filing for a birth certificate for the boy (he's made it seven months and all without the proper paperwork in order)
- yard work
- getting upset with my hubby
- a really, really long walk with the boy
- great conversation with my hubby, some stolen time late at night to reconnect

Yep. There you have it. Some chores and neurosis, a party sandwiched in between work. I know I didn't share the neurosis part in the list, I wasn't quite sure how to fit that in...okay, I'm still not except to say that I can get carried away in my little brain sometimes and my days feel so full of things - I get through them like a check list of things to do. Rarely lately do I find myself really indulging in a moment...in a regular old run of the mill moment, if you will. In dinner. Or grocery shopping. I feel like I have just enough time to brace myself before getting hit with the next wave. Then the wave comes and I find myself baring down for the next. Writing out the above list really illustrated that for me.

The crazy, wonderful part is that I have so much to be grateful for. And I am! I just am not really feeling it. I'm not living it. Overwhelmed in one moment and then surging ahead trying to plan, prepare, contemplate the next. Never really sitting here. Just right here. In this very sacred, beautiful moment.

Ahhhh. What a relief it is to let all of that go and just be here now. I can drive myself crazy trying to plan out the future and analyze my past. And I rob myself of now. Hhhhmmmff.