Do you ever have those days? Nothing seems to fill you up. Always something just a little off, all day long. I have a truly blessed life but some days I struggle to really live in the center of it all and be grateful. What's my deal? I've been asking myself this question for sometime now. A big part of the picture I know is having a baby. A beautiful and shocking upheaval to life as I knew it. I am no longer the center of my own universe. I'm adjusting though and gaining confidence as I go. I'm even learning to fit me back into my days and finding a new ever changing center to my life. So again, what exactly is the problem?
Okay, I may be getting the hang of this mommy thing but I'm terribly impatient and my days still feel aimless. Who knew such a restless spirit would miss, dare I say need a schedule? sigh...
I think the other part of it is missing my hubby in the evenings. (He works until 9 or 10 at night three days a week, the three days I'm at home with the little one. Please oh please let him get this job he's interviewing for! It would mean we could sit down and have dinner together at a normal hour.) So, I have a terrible time sticking to things and it seems that sticking to things is exactly what I need right now. Yeesh...more structured days. Who knew? We'll see how it goes. I guess this revelation means I better come up with some kind of routine.
1 comment:
Oh, the longing for some sort of routine and stability is so overwhelming in the beginning. I found that the harder I tried to establish a routine, the harder life fought against me. I finally relaxed into "the way it is for now" and things became easier, more enjoyable, and routine eventually found us.
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