getting the hang of it

With Springtime weather I am starting to feel better. My last post was a bit of a bummer - that's where I've been lately, going back and forth between feeling inspired to feeling like everything is barely held together. Well really, I'm not sure much has changed except that I may be starting to accept that that is where I am, and if everything is just barely hanging together, so be it! I'm gonna enjoy it while I can instead of whining about what needs to change. It seems to be working. I am feeling better. I wouldn't say I'm getting the hang of things, just that I'm again, coming to a place of acceptance with it all. Whew.

The first time I ever swam in the ocean, I was snorkeling. I have always had a bit of fear about water. I was with my grandfather and we were swimming out of a beautiful little cove in Hawaii. I was young and in shape then but I remember struggling to keep up with my grandpa. He seemed to be swimming with such grace and he was moving so quickly with little effort. In an effort to keep up with him I swan twice as hard, kicking and stroking. I was out of breath and making little progress. Worse than the little progress, I was afraid. The tide seemed to be carrying me further away from him. As the distance between us grew I paddled even harder to no avail and was almost in a panic that I would never catch him. Maybe I would be carried off to sea! He must have noticed the distance between us and the splashing of my efforts. He stopped swimming and glided towards me. With a big smile on his face he said, "your working too hard, just let the water take you, relax". He said it so matter of fact and glided off again. I exhaled and surrendered to the waves. I found that indeed once I stop trying so hard I could let the ocean do the work for me. I had no problem keeping up with him and I enjoyed myself so much more. I could use my energy to enjoy my surroundings.

So, a long story to illustrate my point. I'm relaxing. I surrender. I'm gonna focus my energy on enjoying the ride.

Also, I'm changing my background color. Something a little less...um, gray. Hope you enjoy. I'm still thinking about overhauling the whole look. That's a big project though, especially when you're as computer savvy as I am.